Humans didnt invent masturbation.

We get the urge because our ancestors did too, even back to the earliest mammals and reptiles.

It should be no surprise to anyone that our primate cousins are champion masturbators.

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They have hands, after all.

Masturbations been seen in bottlenose and spinner dolphins, killer whales, and two types of river dolphin.

No one knows whether the bigger whales masturbate, or what itd look like if they did.

Olo

It doesnt last forever: they lose interest as the musth goes on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVvc3kO3OxI

What is it with the big blubbery handless animals?

Male walruses will rub their front flippers over the shaft of their alarmingly large penis.

Parasitic copepods on a grenadier fish.

Or theyll auto-fellate, because its just that big.

Rodents jack off, too.

During the breeding season, both male and female porcupines rub sticks against their genitals.

Alligator

Typically, an animal will groom and lick his penis, sometimes achieving orgasm.

Since they rest hanging upside down by their feet, that can get a bit messy.

Many species also rub their hemipenes against the ground regularly, sometimes daily when its the breeding season.

A colossal squid.

For marine iguanas, masturbation can serve a much more direct reproductive role.

All males, large and small, will try their luck at mating.

The trick improves their fertilization success by 41%, and passes the behavior to the next generation.

A bottlenose dolphin underwater.

Or maybe theyre confused and think that rocks and porch steps are unusually unresponsive female turtles.

No problem: the bare rock of the rookery will do.

The unpublished description was only rediscovered a few years ago.

Zoom setup.

[Thomsen and Sommer 2015|Morisaka et al.

2013|Norris 1977|Jainudeen et al.

1971|Shadle 1946|Waterman 2010|Greenhall 1965|den Bosch 2001|Wikelski and Baurle 1996|Rit et al.

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