io9 is proud to present fiction fromLIGHTSPEED MAGAZINE.
Once a month, we feature a story from LIGHTSPEEDs current issue.
This months selection is Let the Star Explode by Shingai Njeri Kagunda.
Illustration: Oleksandra Klestova (Shutterstock)
it’s possible for you to read the story below orlisten to the podcast.
He stands next to her holding her waist in the space between his biceps and his lower arm.
And her mother who is half an inch shorter than her stands on her left side.
Graphic: Adamant Press
Could not be any more picture perfect.
Mortality rates are lower than they have ever been in human history.
This somehow makes it worse.
It was not an evil or malicious death.
There is no drunk driver or supervillain or robber.
He has a stroke.
He didnt drink and he quit smoking twenty years ago but still .
there is no one to blame.
So they have no choice but to continue living.
The facts
Here is what you must know about star jumping.
They are part of a group that still believe rich does not equal exploitative.
Most people these days dismiss this as fake news.
When the star people introduced themselves, a lot of things changed.
Here is what you gotta know about the star people.
They do not look like one thing.
But they are more inclined to look for one thing.
They showed themselves first in Turkana.
Everywhere on the African content, then the Caribbean, then South America, and eventually Chicago.
They appeared first to Black people because they were attracted to darkness.
Society tried to explain them.
They brought us star jumps.
A thing that doesnt make sense.
But nothing actually ever makes sense.
Now
Hurry up, just.
There are other people waiting in line, neh?
Karu wonders if she will become a star person if she gets this right.
Thats not necessarily how it works.
Its more random than that.
Some people who star jump do all the things theyre supposed to and still remain fully human.
Right is a myth.
Nothing makes sense and thats okay.
Count to three and then take a step.
Thats all you have to do.
Karu knows this, has always known this.
Just count to three and take a breath when nothing makes sense.
She reminds herself that making sense is a lie.
Nothing has ever made sense.
That makes her feel better.
We trick ourselves into thinking things make sense so we can have more control over our lives.
the star non-woman does not hide her disdain.
She is tired and overworked and this is the last thing she wants to be doing with her day.
Just something my Fafa said to me once.
Star jumping was not something you did for fun.
Most people only had one chance in a lifetime to get it right.
And they were very hush hush about it.
Not like mamas stories of the rich before who would brag about their accomplishments.
These days it was embarrassing to be able to do more things than other people.
But shame was not enough of a reason that they would give it all up.
That was the worst thing you could look like.
Karu now, takes a step forward as she exhales.
Maybe if she closed her eyes .
She vaguely hears the Star non-woman say something about bahati, wishing her luck?
but she must be imagining it or the star non-woman was simply calling out to the person behind her.
Karu knows the star non-woman ultimately does not care what happens to one measly girl from Eastlands, Nairobi.
Why would she when shes seen the whole galaxy?
More facts
The where of star jumping is an interesting one.
Very simple too because most things need not be overexplained to be understood.
Non-cities are the most likely first choice.
Areas of Earth that have managed to remain rural however few they may be.
The most important rule of star jumping is that you must be able to see the stars.
It is uncanny how certain truth enters language through idioms, and not fully interpreted as prophesy.
Truth that has not yet been revealed.
Lastly and most importantly, it is not possible to star jump without a non-human.
Darkness tastes like banana passions.
The fruit she used to pick and suck on in her great-grandmothers back yard.
Her thoughts are immediately entangled, all the same incoherent thing like disjointed pictures.
Disoriented is a word that sits weird on her tongue.
She mixes the positioning of the s and the d so it comes out .
She laughs and bubbles come out of her mouth instead of sound.
She wants to think what is this?
But can only form and hold onto the word what in her brain.
There is a planet somewhere in her line of sight.
She is moving towards what looks only like water.
Her first stop, she assumes.
She hears the echoing of sperm whales as if they were far and near at the same time.
What is distance comes out as Ta Danced.
She has never seen a sperm whale, most of them having gone extinct.
The planet isnt just round.
And as she gets closer she sees the true shape of water.
Uncontained it becomes many things slowly unfolding in layers of movement like people dancing.
She sees societies rise and fall in the story told through the waves.
She laughs as she revels in the feeling of being indistinct.
Makes a game of trying to figure out where her skin ends, and the water begins.
The whale lets out a loud song, deep and dark and sad.
She wants to follow it, to find out what it wants, what it sings of.
She whistles trying to catch the melody and is taken back to the beginning of the whale.
Of when they first walked into the sea and drank in the colour of water.
How they decided to stay, to hold watch for those who chose pole pole.
The song was about the practitioner of slowness.
The whale taught the tortoise who taught the sloth who was too tired to teach.
The whales song goes on about the land walkers who could never be satisfied.
How they dismissed pole pole and killed off those who could not be anything other than slow.
This was on the people planet of course, though all planets unfurl from the same seed.
Obviously, the whale does not need to explain how on this planet of maji, majini live.
It is not that Karu can breathe underwater, just that she simply does not need to breathe.
A fact that does not need to make sense, she reminds herself.
She has heard stories of people who die trying to make sense of their bodies while star jumping.
And if a person dies, they do not come back to tell their story.
She surrenders and loses the whale and their song.
Then there is another play tune in the water.
She opens her mouth and tastes sun and salt and the colour orange.
Then she sees her.
I am Mumbi, Creator.
Her hair is in bantu knots held together by cowrie shells.
The most stunning living thing Karu has ever experienced.
Her voice is soft; tamu tamu like melting ice cream touching tongue on a sun-flavoured day back home.
Karu tugs at the edges of the creators beauty.
From me all is that has been, and will be because I am.
A stark contrast to swimming with whales.
Mumbis fingers wrap around Karus waist and her whole body is entwined with time.
And suddenly her heartbeat is the digging of caves.
Powerful men taking resources that were not to be owned, drumming getting louder and louder and louder.
It is the colour white.
She gasps and for a heartbeat remembers that she is just a human in a body.
She needs to breathe but cannot.
What is she doing here?
Dancing with a deity?
Swallowing bite sized capsules of time?
She must force her mind to settle.
Surrender is the only word she holds onto, letting everything else be a rumble of feelings.
Mumbi says I am formless, disappearing into the depths of the sea, and Karu is dropped.
She free falls into the blue light and it does not end.
And there is nothing new under the sun but you’re free to always find new suns.
He introduced the wageni to his language and relationship to the land by accident.
This is a short story so it must be told quick quick.
Then this boy, lets call him Toto, well he was part of the tradition of Nomadic inventors.
He was talking to the soil and it was not listening to him.
And can you imagine.
Totos eyebrows creased, even more annoyed.
The non-man said you are probably right.
In fact, we are on our way already, about to leave this people planet for another.
He asked hesitantly, can you carry life with you?
The non-person had heard this request before.
There was always talk about the ethics of travelling to other planets.
But that is besides the story.
Its just that my friend does not want to live here.
I just thought maybe you could take her with you.
The boy knelt and cradled the green shoots, soothing the plant with whispers, his own anger dissipating.
Returning back to what you came from.
The story goes that the star-folk are not completely void of human feeling such as impulsivity.
The story goes the boy became a god.
The middle
He had wanted to study astronomy.
The number of times he told Karu that story as he was driving her to school was wild.
Then his KCSE grades came out and they were good but not quite good enough.
He did Math instead at University of Nairobi.
In his day it was still a pretty prestigious school.
And he got a job and he met her mother and they had her.
Thats what he would always say.
We figure it out.
He died before star jumping was fully accessible.
Of all the things scientists had achieved for humanity, they couldnt go back, and bring him back.
They are both tools of movement that build off of each other, play with each other.
Mumbi loves to tell stories, she admits to Karu.
Of course that is the reason the galaxy exists.
What is the universe but every story?
And what is the point of every story then?
The only meaning is that it exists.
Stories are simply for play.
Just like music is to dance and work is to experiment.
And Karu asks, Then what is your favourite story?
The creator smiles, pleased with the question.
We are on our way to it.
And Karu sees a burning star in the distance, not too far away from the water planet.
Then it starts again.
This time at the beginning and not the end.
The star narrates its own death,
in the voice of a little boy.
Are you not scared?
Karu asks in awe of the massive burning body.
The star says softly, blazing brighter and more crisp.
Where will you go after?
I will start again, the star responds.
In a different amalgamation.
Will you know you are you?
And this is the big question.
The one that Karu has held close to her chest.
She asks it differently.
Will you still know those who knew you?
The star says, let me show you.
And Karu looks at Mumbi, the creator who smiles gently nodding, releasing her hold on the girl.
The ball of fire draws her in and .
God it hurts
Everywhere.
Her chest burns, the tears falling down her face scald her cheeks.
The star sucks her in, syphoning her memories.
And she thinks finally.
This pain makes sense.
The physicality of it matches the dark inside her she has not been ready to see.
The one she covered because she had to continue living.
There is a plant.
She is just a human after all.
A little boy in a Maasai shuka appears from somewhere in the star and giggles.
The Prediction
Scientists have said that the Earths sun is heating up exponentially faster than expected.
As much as there has been, the planet cannot function without a sun.
After all, this world too will pass away.
They must have been the ones that brought impending doom.
When it is not your fault.
The question of whether to settle other planets is still up in the air.
If it is a matter of survival who knows.
Then there is the little matter of the humans who become star people.
Maybe that is the only future.
Whether it is a thousand years or a hundred, the sun will die soon.
It is a star after all, and eventually all stars explode.
The end-ish
Memories are like every other story.
They always come back, most times pole pole.
But not now, now she can admit that she does not want to leave.
To go back to the constant not knowing of being alive.
We dont have to be quick, Toto says.
You will only go back when you are ready.
Karu says, my Fafa once told me it only takes fifteen seconds for a star to explode.
This does not feel like fifteen seconds.
And scrunches his little face.
Time is not constant here heh, but I never get bored.
His face brightens and Karu cannot help but giggle at this.
Let me show you a stingo!
Karu remembers the word from long ago, back before she forgot to pay attention to joy.
It means cool trick.
They dance and Karu laughs as the plant tugs at her too.
They chase each other round and round shouting TIPPO!
For making this, she waves at the galaxy, worth it.
Dark as midnight with stars in his skin.
The creator is a shapeshifter.
She becomes what she has created so she can love them more.
Karu watches the interaction so intensely she almost misses the aloe plant retract its leaves.
I am tired but I dont feel old, Karu hears the little boy say.
The creator laughs a deep booming laugh which echoes throughout the exploding star.
I am old, and I do not feel tired.
There is a twinkle in the star-mans eye.
But even me, one day I may burn out and start again.
The star collapses, bits and pieces disintegrating over and over and over and over again.
Losing all its light and heat and the whales song plays in Karus mind.
And then
Did you hear me?
The South African accented non-woman with blue-black skin tugs at Karus shirt.
She side-eyes the yellow letter attached to the star jumping ticket fallen on the sand.
Karu is back on the Malindi coast at the medium sized jumping site by the sea.
A graduation gift for you kasichana.
May the galaxy teach you what I may not be able to.
Love,
Baba
The grief feels different this time, like it is dancing with something else.
Her memories play a game of tag with her sadness, joy, wonder .
and she lets them.
Swallowing, she takes a breath, letting the tears fall down her face.
Shingai Njeri Kagunda is an Afrosurreal/futurist storyteller from Nairobi, Kenya with a Literary Arts MFA from Brown.
Her debut novella & This is How to Stay Alive was published by Neon Hemlock Press in October 2021.
She is the co-editor of Podcastle Magazine and the co-founder of Voodoonauts.
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