Willys Chocolate Experience in Glasgow, Scotland was promoted with elaborate AI-generated images of lollipop forests and jellybean waterfalls.
Now, Gizmodo has a copy of the events unhinged AI-generated script.
Based on our reporting, it seems like the real thing.
AI s didn’t live up to the hype.Photo: House of Illuminati / Stuart Sinclair
Youll also notice the code names for Willy Wonka and the Oompa Loompas.
Weve also posted an original copyhere(note the first page is blank).
The audience is buzzing with anticipation.
(Audience applauds)
Willy McDuff: (smiling) Ah, I see we have enthusiasts among us!
Willy McDuff: You see, the Garden of Enchantment isnt just any garden.
Show of hands, yo!
(Audience members raise their hands, some enthusiastically, others more timidly.)
Willy McDuff: Splendid!
And who has packed an extra pair of socks?
You know, in case the first pair gets knocked off by sheer amazement?
(Audience laughs again, a few hands remain raised.)
Willy McDuff: Ah, we have some well-prepared adventurers!
(Audience chuckles, enjoying McDuffs self-deprecating humor.)
Willy McDuff: Now, a crucial questiondoes anyone here speak fluent Squirrel?
Shame, theyre the best conversationalists in the Garden.
(Audience is visibly amused, some are leaning in, fully engaged in McDuffs
charismatic presence.)
So, if you find yourself inexplicably joyful, or suddenly bursting into song, embrace it!
Its all part of the enchantment.
(He starts to walk back towards the stage.)
(The audience responds with cheers and applause.)
Willy McDuff: (grinning) Then, without further ado, let us proceed.
But remember, keep your belongings close, your wits about you, and your socks well-secured.
To the Garden of Enchantment, we go!
Wonkidoodle 1: (tripping over a pretend stone, sweets flying everywhere) Oops!
It seems even the stones want a taste of our treats!
(Audience laughs as Wonkidoodle 2 helps gather the sweets, turning the mishap into a playful act.)
Willy McDuff: (chuckling) Careful there!
Our garden stones are known to be quite the sweet tooths!
Wonkidoodle 2: (handing out a peculiarly shaped candy) Try this!
Its our latest
creation: the Whizzbang Whirlygig!
Just be sure youre not standing upside down when you eat it, or you might find yourself floating!
Theyve been a bit wilting lately, and a kind word goes along way in this garden.
Theyre our official secret keepers and dream carriers of the garden!
Its a rare flower that blooms just once every blue moon and fills the air with shimmering bubbles!
Wonkidoodle 2: (pretending to catch bubbles) Quick!
Each bubble holds a whisper of enchantmentcatch one, and make a wish!
For in this garden, the magic is real, and the possibilities are endless.
The next wonder you encounter may just be around the next bend.
The path narrows, and the light dims, leading to the entrance of the Twilight Tunnel.
The Wonkidoodles huddle close, their usual mirth replaced by an eager anticipation mixed with a hint of apprehension.
Wonkidoodle 1: (with a tone of awe) These orbs are the captured essence of twilight itself.
They will guide us when the stars above are shy.
Willy McDuff: (nodding) Indeed, my friend.
(The audience murmurs affirmatively, a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation in the air.)
Willy McDuff: (smiling reassuringly) Fear not, for you are not alone.
(Willy turns to the Wonkidoodles, who are now distributing the glowing orbs to the audience members.)
(Wonkidoodle 2, looking slightly more courageous, steps forward.)
Wonkidoodle 2: And remember, in the Twilight Tunnel, its not just about finding the light.
Its about finding the courage within ourselves to face the dark and emerge stronger on the other side.
After all, the greatest treasures are often hidden in the darkest places.
His face is illuminated by the flickering light of his lantern, casting long shadows on the walls.
The groups laughter and whispers fade as Willy begins to speak in a grave tone.
(The audience leans in, captivated by Willys words.)
Willy McDuff: This fiendish foe has long coveted one of my most cherished
creationsthe Anti-Graffiti Gobstopper.
(A murmur of amusement and agreement ripples through the audience.)
Then, from the shadows, a figure emerges, cloaked in mystery and malicethe Unknown.)
You have something I desire, and with your unwitting aid, it shall be mine.
The Anti-Graffiti Gobstopper will no longer clean your worlds; it will turn them to chaos at my command.
The Unknown: You there!
Yes, you will assist me in acquiring this precious sweet.
Together, we shall rewrite the rules of cleanliness and order!
Willy McDuff: (confused) Whawhat happened?
Did anyone else feel a chill?
(He looks around, feigning ignorance of the Unknowns presence.)
You all look as if youve seen a ghost!
Or perhaps, youre just feeling a bit… whitety?
Now, let us continue our journey, with hearts light and spirits undimmed.
A toast, to adventures shared and friendships forged in the heart of the unknown!
Their attention is soon drawn to a mysterious door marked Imagination Lab: Keep Out.
Willy McDuff, with a mischievous glint in his eye, gathers the guests around the forbidden entrance.
A place where the impossible becomes possible, and the peculiar becomes delightful.
(The audience leans in, eager to hear more about the mystical lab.)
Willy McDuff: Within these walls, weve concocted creations beyond your wildest dreams.
(A murmur of intrigue spreads through the crowd.)
(Winks) Thats a story for another day, or perhaps a question for your parents.
(The audience chuckles, appreciating the playful innuendo.)
Willy McDuff: Ah, and my favoritethe Boogerberry Bean, freshly made from Grandpas old crusty hanky.
A taste thats… well, lets just say, uniquely exquisite.
(The guests exchange amused and slightly apprehensive glances.)
Willy McDuff: (proudly) And, of course, the piece de resistance, the Anti-Graffiti Gobstopper.
Not only a marvel in keeping childrens rooms clean but a testament to the wonders of imagination and innovation.
Step right up and prepare for a flavor adventureunlike any other!
Guest 1: (trying the soup-flavored jelly bean) Its like… dinner in a dessert.
Guest 2: (braving the Boogerberry Bean) Oh, wow!
Its oddly… gorgeous?
How is that possible?
(Laughter and surprised exclamations fill the room as the guests indulge in the whimsical treats.)
As the tasting continues, Willy McDuff gestures towards an old-fashioned camera with a sign McDuff TV on it.
Willy McDuff: And now, for a bit of fun.
Lets capture your expressions for McDuff TV, the only channel where every reaction is a flavor sensation!
(The camera lights up, and Willy directs the guests to react to the flavors theyre
experiencing.
Willy McDuff: (laughing) Look at those marvelous expressions!
Each face tells a story, a testament to the boundless realms of taste and imagination.
Opposite him, shrouded in darkness, emerges The Unknown, with a gadget that emits a sinister glow.
The air crackles with anticipation.
Willy McDuff: (holding up the Gobstopper) Behold, the culmination of imagination and ingenuitythe Anti-Graffiti Gobstopper!
A sweet so powerful, it can make anyn room sparkle without lifting a finger.
But it seems, our friend, The Unknown, would rather use it for… less tidy purposes.
The Unknown: (sneering) Thats right, McDuff.
Imagine the chaos, the absolute power of turning tidiness into turmoil.
Hand it over, and I might consider sparing your precious lab.
(The audience gasps, tension mounting as the two adversaries stand ready.)
If its a showdown you want, its a showdown youll get!
(Suddenly, the room transforms into a battlefield of lights and lasers.
The Unknown: (dodging a beam of light) You think these parlor tricks will stop me?
Ive come too far to be foiled now!
For every dark intention, theres a light of innovation ready to shine through!
(Willy activates a machine that releases a dazzling display of holographic images, momentarily disorienting The Unknown.
The Unknown: (stumbling, caught in the sparkling wave) No!
My plans, thwarted by… Let us remember, the greatest adventures and the most enduring victories are those we achieve together.
The guests erupt into applause, celebrating the triumph of creativity and courage over chaos.)
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