Every few years theres some terrible new status symbol that becomes ubiquitous and, thus, inescapable.
Lately, however, the marker of status is just a cup.
What is so special about the Quencher?
Photo: Joshua V (Shutterstock)
Well, not much.
Instead, its a monstrosity largely birthed by the internet.
In November, a womanposted a video to TikTok explaining that her car had recently burst into flames.
As a result of the inferno, the vehicle was destroyed.
Her Stanley Quencherwhich had been locked inside the carsomehow survived.
They also bought her a new car.
Of course, once you get past the products immediate star power, theres a lot to ridicule.
For one thing, its called a Quencher, which is an unequivocally funny name.
For another, it is ridiculously expensive.
You might call it the NFT-ification of tumblers.
The real object of ridicule here should be the people buying the Quenchers, not necessarily the Quenchers themselves.
After all, you cant blame a cup company for making an expensive cup.
you’re able to blame people for actually buying them.
In California,a woman was recently jailed for allegedly stealing $2,500 worth of the dreaded mugs.
At a Florida Target,a brawlbroke out, with the cups at the center of the action.
Everywhere they go, these prestige goblets drive normal, everyday people to fiscal and behavioral extremes.
In short: Fuck these cups.
There are many other cups currently in existence that do the same thing that the Stanley Quenchers do.
Here isonelisted for $6.98 at Walmart.
Go forth and buy that one.
Make that one popular.
Tell your friends that they just have to have the $7 Walmart cup.
If you do, you will be saving the American public tens of millions of dollars.
News from the future, delivered to your present.
