But aside from the very good question of Why did I just have to read that sentence?
fans have long asked: is that actually feasible, even beyond a world of superheroes?
Thankfully, someone is here at last to answer.
© Kaare Andrews/Marvel Comics
Ever wondered what Steve Rogers sex ed wouldve been like before he became Captain America?
What happened that one time Superman made a porno?
Just how do healing factors like Wolverines and Deadpools factor into their sperm?
© Smart Pop
All these, and more, are answeredand to celebrate its release (hi-o!
Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Radioactive Spider-Man.
Spider blood, spider blood, radioactive spider blood (repeat three times).
© Kaare Andrews/Marvel Comics
Whats that, you want to learn more about that last part?
Thats genuinely shocking, but sure, lets talk about Spider-Mans deadly splooge.
How did she die?
How you had beenpoisonedwithradioactivity!
How your body slowly became riddled withcancer!
I am filled withradioactive blood.
And not just blood.
.loving me killed you!
Like a spider crawling up inside your body and laying a thousand eggs of cancer .
So there you have it, straight from the spiders mouth.
Hes saying he killed Mary Jane by infecting her with radioactive semen whenever they made love.
Which feels like a wild claim to jump to without proof.
Heck, maybe Mary Jane lived near some power lines or something.
Or maybe he knows something we dont.
This leads us to a few questions that need answering.
One, why would Marvel publish any of that?
And two, is it actually possible that Peter killed his wife with his radioactive spider-semen?
Well never know the answer to question one, but we can answer question two with shocking accuracy.
But the CDC also backs up Peters claim that his bodily fluids would be radioactive enough to contaminate others.
People who are internally contaminated can expose people near them to radiation from the radioactive material inside their bodies.
The body fluids (blood, sweat, urine) of an internally contaminated person can contain radioactive materials.
Coming in contact with these body fluids can result in contamination and/or exposure.
So uranium exposure could definitely explain MJ contracting multiple cancers that formed over several years inSpider-Man: Reign.
Which Bodily Fluid Killed Mary Jane?
And for that, we salute them.
This also means he was unknowingly being the menace J. Jonah Jameson claimed he was forall those years.
Now, lets get to the main event and talk about splooge.
What they ended up finding was that half the participants had uranium levels that were considered high and above.
That makes semen a prime suspect in the killing of Mary Jane.
(The USDVA study didnt actually include an analysis of the uranium levels found in sweat.
Fortunately, they arent the only bodily fluid game in town.
Talk about a neogenic nightmare, and a twist on the accepted lore.
And its safe to say no one saw that coming.
Personally, I had money on the Kingpin.
What does this mean for a potential friendly neighborhood spider-baby?
As her name suggests, Poison Ivy is, well, poisonous.
to create a vaccine to inoculate Harley against Ivys more poisonous traits.
Heck, maybe Ivy just threw those powers in there because she thought itd be fun.
Respect, if so.
And even if he was sweating up a storm, condoms definitely wouldnt have hurt as an added precaution.
Other famously radioactive heroes include the Fantastic Four, who obtained their powers by being bombarded with cosmic radiation.
Were talking about a substance so toxic it would melt a person in half immediately upon exposure.
So, for everyones safety, dont make Bruce horny; you wouldnt like him when hes horny.
But maybe a lesson can be learned here, which is that being a hero means protecting people.
And protecting people can be as simple as putting on a spandex supersuitor putting on a condom.
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